Criminality (Letter From A Convict To His Mother)

 

Dear Mummy,

I can't begin to say how sorry I am. I am sorry I let you down. I am sorry I have brought shame and disgrace to our family name. I am sorry that your years of waking up early to send me to school amounted to this. I am sorry for getting arrested. I am sorry for not upholding the morals you imbibed in me as a child.

Mummy, life in the prison isn't that bad, I am okay... It feels just like the boarding house. I have made friends here, I'm in a singing group, and I always read the Bible some Evangelist gifted me. Please don't worry about me. At least your "busy body' son can finally sit down in one place to hear the word of God. 

I have some money in a closed account. I would let you know how to access it so you can keep caring for yourself, for Daddy, and my siblings. Please get the complete dose of your medication for the next couple of months.

I am sorry I couldn't complete the house I was building for all of us before this happened. Please forgive me Mama. All I wanted was to see you happy, all I wanted was to make you proud. All I wanted was to be able to give you the glamour you couldn't get in your youth, because you constantly sat over the fire, trying to make ends meet.

Dear Mama, I am trying to be a better person. One that you can really be proud of with no disappointments. Please bear the shame this last time. I know as a child I promised you I'd stop stealing, but this time I mean it. Please be safe, always eat on time, and monitor your blood pressure.

Your stupid Son.

Eddy.

My Son.

I don't care who the world says you are,

You would always be my son,

And I would always be your mother. I would stand by you.

I am sorry for the weight your father and I put on your shoulders.

You are not a criminal, your heart is far too precious,

And rare a diadem for this world. 

I see you, I know you, and I pray for you.

You have not failed me, as long as you are breathing 

I am proud of you.

And, I am pleased with you. 

I hear you reject prison meals. Do you want me worried sick?

The food I bring cannot suffice. It may be dark and gloomy in 

there, but let hope be your sunshine, and courage your moonlight.

If the Jury cannot vindicate you, and it condemns you, know I

Your mother, think you a noble man, and a good man.

Forget about what the world has to say, it is what I say that matters.

I want you to dream big, to imagine the future 

When you've served your 20-year sentence 

Even though I may not be a part of that future.

I pray you find a good woman, on whose bosom 

You would lay your head.

Whose food would make you think less of mine,

Whose love would rival— better still, surpass mine.

A woman you'd call home. Who'd stand by you,

And not criticize your tears.

My Son,

Please don't blame the government.

Nor the economy, nor your father, neither myself.

Don't even blame yourself.

Let your gaze linger on the future you would like to have.

You are a Freeman.

Your body is only bound, but your mind is free to roam.

What do you see?

Whenever I lay down to sleep, I see what we could have been.

"One Big Happy Family."

What an irony. The same people who fed off your palms are the first to point fingers, to laugh, and to publicize your humbling circumstance.

This is not your downfall, great men are very familiar with prison bars.

Did your beneficiaries not know your means were dishonest?

I deceived myself you would only do it for a time, and decease from crime,

Yet, I did not try to stop you as the months went by.

The blame is not ours, but repentance and acceptance are.

Acceptance of the very predicament we are tourists to.

Know this,

If the world abandons you, I— your mother— would never abandon you.

I would do all within my power to extricate you from behind those bars,

But while you are in, remember life is only schooling you.

Wear your scars, but then, always strive to be a better person.

Thank you for taking care of me; of all of us, through the years. 

It is my turn yet again, to care for you in my little way.

I could be dead, had you not supplanted my inadequacies.

I would pray to God Almighty, to give us the wisdom to live right.

At the end of the matter, "Las Las, everybody go de alright."

Till then.

Yours faithfully,

Mummy Eddy.

✍️ ✍️ ✍️

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