John is a 16-year-old high school student in America. He comes from a broken home and struggles with his identity. He's a fat kid because he seems only to derive pleasure and comfort from food.
He is the eldest of three children, but rarely sees his two younger sisters, since his father gained custody of them after the divorce six years ago.
John is lonely. He has no close friends and isolates himself. His mother, still bitter from the divorce, clings to him possessively, using him as a silent weapon against her unfaithful ex-husband, who now lives happily in Las Vegas.
At school, John faces bullying. He lacks confidence, performs poorly in academics, and has very low self-esteem. At home, he often speaks harshly to his mother and escapes into video games: the one thing that gives him a sense of control.
What no one knows is that John is suicidal. He has harmed himself before, though not severely enough to require medical attention.
So, what exactly is wrong with Johnny?
1. The first thing is Johnny has no Innate identity. He has no dreams or motives, he's downtrodden and pessimistic. He has no sense of purpose.
Johnny has no dreams or motivations. He feels powerless, lost, and weighed down by sadness.
2. He is lonely.
Had he grown up with his sisters—or with a present, supportive father—things might have been different. Every child needs a super hero, and the parents happen to be the first heroes and heroines. We all need someone to look up to, someone to show us how.
3. He has developed poor habits.
His video game addiction reflects his desire to escape reality, while his overeating shows his desperate craving for comfort and happiness.
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What can be done?
Johnny needs to decide.
He must first believe that his life has value, that he can dream big, and that he has the power to change his future. He can decide to mature, to be a role model for his sisters, and to support his mother; not as a weapon against his father, but as a son who cares.
Johnny must work on his mind.
He needs to let go of his fear of failure and his belief that he will never be enough. He must commit to improving in school and building a better future.
Johnny needs faith, hope, and love.
Forgiveness is key. Children from broken homes often carry hidden resentment toward one or both parents. Johnny must release that burden, forgive his parents, and free himself.
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Who is to blame?
It no longer matters who failed Johnny in the past. What matters is how he chooses to fight his inner battles now.
He may be the product of a loveless marriage, but that does not define him. He is not the “lazy good-for-nothing” his mother calls him. He is brilliant, capable, and filled with potential.
Johnny must have faith in himself. He should aim for college, seek reconciliation with his father, and help his mother understand that she cannot raise him alone. He needs his sisters, and they need him just as much.
He may not have the best parents, but he can still be the best son.
I wasn't always, and I'm still not my mother's favorite. I simply love her unreservedly and she knows, she loves me too! That's okay for me.
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Johnny may feel like a broken clock (stale, out of place, purposeless) but even a broken clock is right twice a day. Sometimes, all we need is one person to believe in us. That belief can make us unshakable. It makes us feel trojan and invincible.
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A Message to Johnny
If you are Johnny, you don't have to lean in to drugs, don't contemplate suicide or giving up. I want you to stand up and tell yourself "I am enough."
I want you to talk yourself up. "I am confident."
Create your own happiness, change your mind and self perception. See the new you, you can be anything, just dare to dream! I want you to be the binding cord that unites your home. Get in touch with everyone, relate with them and know them. Bring your sisters home, go over to your Dad's.
Your parents may not be getting back together, but they can be friends and can care genuinely for each other.
You can all become “One Big Happy Family.”
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