Divorce

 

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She’s driving down the lanes, oblivion her crown as she ignores the traffic lights.

Her chest is tight, like a fist squeezing unrepentantly around her delicate heart.

Her nightmare has somehow crept out of the night and stretched its ugly fingers into the day, now petrifying her. The nightmare of her home falling apart. She can see everything crumbling.

It’s been five years.

Five years of domestic, verbal, and physical abuse. She has despaired so deeply that even a wanderer stranded in a vast desert might seem privileged in comparison to her. at least she has the luxury of hope.

The cold from the air vent prickles her skin. She pulls her numb fingers from the steering wheel, not to escape the cold, but to confront the tears cascading down her cheeks. She rolls into traffic and slams her brakes. She remains unfazed by the furious drivers gesturing at her.

Despite the pain and ridicule, she’s still holding on to her husband.

A man who rubs infidelity on her face,

a man who body-shames her,

a man who lords his power over her without regard for her self-esteem or dignity.

This morning, he tossed divorce papers at her.

He wants out.

He says he has found love elsewhere.

It hurts.

And when she once gathered the courage to leave three years ago, her mother insisted she stay for the sake of her son and for the family’s reputation.

"Don’t you know your younger sisters will struggle to find husbands if you divorce? Women bear, women tolerate, women hold their homes," her mother would say.

Then she’d add,

"All men cheat. Don’t leave because he cheats. Does he provide? Does he take care of his responsibilities? If you leave him, what guarantees the next man won’t cheat? Or that he won’t be someone else’s husband? Many single mothers end up with married men. They become what they hate. Home wreckers. Endure… There is nothing outside. Manage your home and keep praying for your husband."

These words became the anchor that kept her ship from sailing. But while she endured, her self-worth shattered; her confidence dissipated. Her drive dwindled. Her ocean began to dry. Her creativity, her spark, her uniqueness, all becoming relics of her past.

She is losing herself, and she knows it.

These words kept her trapped in the den of a loveless marriage, where happiness is like a drop of water searching for an entrance into a dark tunnel, only to be absorbed before it can pass through.

Now, the same man has served her an unhealthy breakfast at dawn. She feels her blood pressure rising. Her hands shake as sharp sobs escape her, blending with the impatient car horns behind her. It’s time to move.

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ORATOR:

Divorce.

The fear of every newlywed.

“May we never get to a point where we can’t work things out,” they pray.

But what if you get there?

Before you can carry someone alongside yourself, you must first learn to exist by yourself, for yourself, and in yourself. When you thrive in your independence, you join yourself to another from a place of strength, not desperation.

Marriage is not a do-or-die affair.

You were not born sharing one umbilical cord.

Your happiness is not negotiable.

You don’t have to divorce simply because you fell out of romantic love. Friendship, respect, ambition, and family can still hold a union together.

But you should never strive with someone who delights in your pain, who is indifferent to your anguish, or who neglects your well-being.

A partner who is unmoved by your suffering is unworthy of your partnership.

People enter marriages for many reasons. Companionship, mutual support, peace, stability. And that’s valid. But those relationships function because both partners benefit.

When he becomes a stranger and she becomes a storm, it’s time to call it quits.

Do not let public opinion keep you in purgatory.

You are the one in the marriage, they aren’t married to your spouse.

Your peace is essential.

It is from your treasure that you nurture your children; if your treasure is empty, you offer only resentment and bitterness.

The aftermath of divorce may be frightening, humbling, even painful.

But it can also open the door to new beginnings.

Infidelity destroys homes.

It’s understandable to seek sufficiency in a partner even if they are imperfect; none of us are flawless. But a home cannot stand when betrayal becomes its foundation.

Marriage is a car with two steering wheels.

If one person lets go, the other must know when to release their grip as well.

Bad things happen. But accepting reality is the birthplace of healing.

When you finally let go of a treacherous outcome, reignite your flames.

Burn brightly, passionately, fiercely, joyfully.

Find happiness within yourself: within your dreams, within your rebirth.

Only when your cup overflows can you water the plants around you.

If your partner wants you back, they will show it... not with words, but with transformation. If they don’t care whether you stay or leave, then you must leave.

Do not let public opinions shape your destiny.

You will figure it out.

You will be fine.

Sometimes partners lose interest because you lost yourself while trying to hold on to them. But when you reignite—when you come alive—if they ever cared, they’ll try to mend things earnestly.

Do your best. Fight for your home. Protect what is yours.

But every structure has a point of elasticity and equilibrium.

When you reach yours,

Do not break.

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