SINGLE PARENTING
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
VALUES II
INFIDELITY I
NEXT: EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT
Writer's POV:
“Frank, isn’t this the same ring you used to propose to your girlfriend?”
“I didn’t propose to her…”
“Frank? What are you saying? You didn’t propose to her, but you were already preparing for an introduction, and you had an engagement party?”
Naomi teared up.
Oh no. He wasn’t going to make her cry—not in front of her mother.
“I wasn’t going to go through with the wedding, Naomi. I only did it to make you jealous and pull you back to me. But then I decided to man up and stop toying with the emotions of both of you. I decided to come clean—honest and vulnerable.”
A whimper was heard. Everyone turned in the direction of the sound. It was Naomi’s mother’s dog. The dog, which only understood Ibibio, seemed to be able to interpret the situation and was emotional.
“I was only scared, Naomi,” he continued. “I was scared you’d leave me one day when you saw the monster that I am. Hence, I felt you might as well leave already. That’s why I was behaving that way. If I let you in and then you leave someday, I don’t know—I could die. It’s hard to breathe when you’re not around. I lose focus. I love watching you sleep and snore gently. But when you’re awake, I pretend not to notice anything about you.
I pretend not to care about our son because you might want to use him as leverage over me. I pretend not to care to appear tough and put together, because that is what men are expected to be—stoic and rational.
I love you, Naomi—so much that it scares me. I don’t want to get burnt. But in protecting myself, I have hurt you deeply. That is selfish. I felt if I showed you I had other options, you’d be scared to lose me, but it’s I who’s scared to lose you. Naomi, for the first time in my life, I want to love deeply. Please let me love you wholly.
I may not get it right, but I’m willing to learn. No matter how many mistakes I make, I’ll keep coming back to say ‘I’m sorry’ and to ask for your forgiveness. Let me know whatever you don’t like, but please don’t ever give me the silent treatment. Don’t leave me.
All I wanted was for you to be my safe place—my comfort, my peace. I just felt it was foolishness for a man to show how he really feels. Men are taught that tears are weakness and romance is foolishness—you know what all these influencers teach on social media—but I want to be taught by you. Teach me how to love you, Naomi.
I’ll get another ring.”
Naomi blinked away the tears. She hesitated. “I don’t just want another ring; I want an engagement party.”
“Done,” he responded. “Consider it done. I’ll contact an event planner already.”
“And we’d start all over again. You’d court me properly,” she added.
“Your wish is my command.”
“You’d call me, text me, and this time, no sleepovers. You’d take me on dates, and you’d bring me back to my mother’s doorstep before 11:00 p.m.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You’d buy me flowers, with little love notes attached.”
“How about 30 gifts for 30 days?” he asked.
“Sounds like music to my ears,” she smiled.
He exhaled. “Gosh, I missed you so much.”
He pulled her in. He hugged her; he inhaled her. He let out a sigh of relief. Everyone clapped except Naomi’s mother and the Lexus man. Naomi’s mother was skeptical because she had already laid curses on him in a hurry, out of emotional outburst.
Naomi, on the other hand, felt numb. She was already tired of being the good girl. Frank had sucked the light out of her, shattered her trust and ability to love. If anything, while he hugged her, she was plotting a thousand ways to hurt him and make him go through the same pain. But how could she, when she never wanted to leave his embrace? There was no one else’s arms she’d rather be in, no other voice she wanted to whisper in her ears.
He was about to plant a kiss on her lips, but she dodged it. They both laughed. The kiss landed on her cheek instead.
“How’s my son?”
“He’s got a fever. He’s been crying and asking for you.”
Frank went in to see his son. The boy was fast asleep.
“I’ll send you some money to care for him.”
“No, thank you. We are fine.”
He turned his head and eyed her. “Must your head touch every time? He’s my son. It’s his right to receive welfare from his father. Stop seeing yourself as a single parent. We are in this together, okay?”
She blushed and nodded.
“I’ll call you.”
“That’s if it rings.”
“What do you mean?”
“I blocked you, of course.”
He exhaled. “You’re a case, Naomi.”
“And I deleted your number, so I can’t unblock you either.”
“Hehe, you practically know my number off heart.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. It’s out of my head.” She looked away from him.
He paused, looking deep into her eyes, searching for the truth. She avoided his gaze. He was clueless nevertheless. “I’ll message you on Snap.”
“Okay.”
After a little tête-à-tête, he finally left.
“Naomi, why did you not stand your ground with Frank? Were you not the one crying and praying to God that if He helps you move on, you won’t have anything to do with Frank again?” her mother asked as she sat beside her in the living room.
“Mama, please leave us alone. No matter what, he’s trying. I’m seeing his efforts, and I appreciate the man he is. He always tries to fix things. He makes me comfortable—not just me, us. I mean, look around. Who’s paying for this place? He’s taking care of you too, and he’s not married to me. He’s not perfect, but he’s a good man. He lays aside his pride for my happiness.”
“Naomi, my daughter, all of this is reflex action. This doesn’t mean he has changed. He only misses the comfort you gave him because he has tasted things out there. If only you’d listen to me, you wouldn’t be messing up. I am your mother; I won’t lie to you. I have been in this world much longer than you, and I have seen a lot. Learn from my experiences. You don’t need to earn yours at the expense of your youth.”
“Go and share your experience with your late husband. Leave me and my husband-to-be alone.”
“What?!”
Naomi stood up and walked away.
“Naomi! Naomi!” she called, but Naomi was out of hearing. “God, what is all this? Nobody will spoil that which is my own. God, please have mercy on my daughter. Help her and protect her from every unfriendly friend.”
It was night. He did message her on Snapchat.
Him: Hello.
Her: Hi, stranger.
Him: Smiles. Typing…
Was going through your profile, and I thought to say you’re beautiful.
Her: I know.
Him: You know you’ve picked up a habit of forgetting important things these days (because she forgot his number). Just thought to remind you.
Her: That’s why I have a mirror.
Him: It’s funny how you only have this attitude behind your phone screen. You always melt when you see me.
Her: (No response)
Him: What are you doing on Monday?
Her: Mothering.
Him: Tuesday?
Her: Teaching homework.
Him: Wednesday?
Her: Washing my son’s clothes.
Him: The whole day?
Her: Thursday? Friday? Saturday? I’m working on a restaurant opening with my mum.
Him: Next week Monday?
Her: (After 30 minutes) I’m free.
Him: Let’s grab dinner.
Her: I’m sorry; I have surplus food in my house.
Him: Go on a date with me.
Her: Make a reservation.
Him: Yes, ma’am. Where would you like to go?
Her: Pick a place and time. I’ll be ready, and you’ll pick me up.
They chatted a little.
***
It was a quiet diner. She cat walked into the building, feeling very confident and ready to deal with Frank. She wore an elegant baby-pink dress, and she had glitter on her ebony skin—hair in a high bun and light makeup. She wasn’t smiling at all, but immediately she saw him, she blushed like a kid begging a neighbor for candy.
He pulled out the chair for her to sit, like the gentleman he really was. He held her hand and placed her on the chair. They couldn’t hold eye contact. His heart was racing, and the worms in her tummy were pinching her out of curiosity to know how the evening would go.
What started with chemistry ended with a heated argument and her throwing food at him—public disgrace.
“You are really unclassy,” he fired.
“Your head.” She walked out. She didn’t drive; there was traffic, and Frank couldn’t head her route. He rented a car and a driver from Cimex Car Rentals to pick her up, so she used a taxi.
What happened was that he was acting arrogant, trying to humble her, and she flared up. But he was only teasing because he loved to see her upset; it turned him on. He didn’t expect it to get that far. The science behind it was that he was checking if she loved him—if she easily got upset, then she still cared.
She sobered up when she got home, embarrassed for embarrassing him like that. But he caused it. Why would he try to humble her? Should she apologize? Her phone buzzed—a message on Snap. She still hadn’t unblocked him from her direct call line. She saved his contact as “Ugly,” but there was nothing ugly about him—not his beard, not his lips, not his eyes. He had that face anyone would want to steal if they were to walk up to Miss Universe and ask for her number.
Ugly: Hey, stranger. Let’s try again.
Naomi: This user is in a deep slumber.
Ugly: This stranger gives the best hugs, best cuddles, and smells terribly nice.
Naomi: Good for you and your pillows.
Another time they fought:
Ugly: Hey, stranger. Let’s try again. Let’s start all over again, and we’ll keep starting all over again until we get it right.
Naomi: (Responds immediately) Okay, so here comes the part where you ask me to dinner?
Ugly: (After 30 minutes) No, it’s your turn. You dumped me, so you’ll do all the work. I’ll just sit here and let you chase me.
Naomi: (After 2 hours) How do I begin? (Catching on to the humor.)
Ugly: (Immediately) However you want. Wait… I’ve always fantasized about dating an older woman. Ask me out like a divorced sugar mummy.
Naomi: (Immediately) “Fine boy, you’ve been entering my eye for a long time now. You just dey popori—no be small.”
Ugly: Lol.
Naomi: (After 2 minutes) Can I book a room for two?
Ugly: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I belong to someone else. Things are pretty messed up now, but I know we’ll figure it out. We always do. If I start going out with you and I get back with her, it’s going to be really complicated. So I’ll just wait.”
Naomi was quiet.
Ugly: Hello? Are you still there?
Naomi: I love you, Frank.
Frank: I love you too. Come over.
Naomi: No, please. It’s late, and I won’t be able to get back home tonight.
Frank: This is your home.
Naomi: I’ve only got the ring, Frank, not the last name.
Frank: I won’t do anything. You know I respect your boundaries.
Naomi: Well, if you do, you’d stop asking.
Frank: I miss you so much. Can I drive and come see you? The mountain is searching for Muhammad.
Naomi: Frank… you know it’s not safe for you to go back so late.
Frank: I’ll sleep in your room.
Naomi: My mum won’t like that.
Frank: Oh, Naomi, remind me why I haven’t married you already.
Naomi: We are getting to know the new versions of ourselves, so we are waiting.
That’s how they got closer with each fight, until D-Day. He watched her walk down the aisle. He didn’t try to hide his tears. For the first time, she saw him cry, and he wasn’t scared to be vulnerable to her because she felt like home.
“Mr. Frank, do you take Miss Naomi to be your lawfully wedded wife, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”
“I do.”
“Miss Naomi, do you promise to take Mr. Frank as your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”
She hesitated. Where is this fear creeping from? she thought. 'I know not, but it does wrap my feet.' Once she takes this, there’s no going back. Could she trust him with her life? With her forever? Could she burn her bridges for him—choose him above all others? She could still walk off the aisle, back down. She could be the trending runaway bride. But no—she was all in.
“I do,” she said bravely.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
“Wait,” Frank chipped in.
He knelt down. “I just want to say thank you, Naomi, for staying by my side. Thank you for having faith in me, for not giving up on me, and for not listening to negative talk about me from your friends and others.” He threw a side glance at Naomi’s mother, then continued. “You had a thousand reasons to leave, but you found one reason to stay—it’s because you love me. I want to renew the vow I made back then when we were kids.” He exhaled.
“I promise you, Naomi, that I’ll never let you down. I’ll never let you go. I’ll never turn my back on you. I’ll love you forever, and I’ll take care of you. And if you leave me because of my inadequacies, I’ll find you.”
He kissed the bride. It was their first kiss on their seventh “Hello, stranger” conquest—acting like total strangers and starting afresh after breakups.
They started living together as newlyweds. She managed jewelry and fabric. He went about his business. He didn’t stop talking to some of his girlfriends. He tried to draw boundaries, but he still engaged in dirty talk. Planning for his wedding and honeymoon kept him disconnected from them. It appalled him when Naomi’s friends started making advances at him, saying bad things about her. Some of the things they said got him concerned, so he asked her to stay away from them—but he didn’t tell her the real reason.
It was strange when his ex-fiancée messaged him, saying she needed to talk to him. He was thrown off balance, as she still had an effect on him. He felt odd about it, but he invited her to the office. She pinned him down and had her way with him. He felt helpless but couldn’t stop her because she never let him.
“But why?” he asked, feeling guilty. “When we were together, you never let me. Now you know I’m married, and you’re all over me.”
“I enjoy married men. You guys are the best.”
That’s when he knew he had a demon knocking, plowing the foundation of his marriage. But he didn’t stop her. He let her do whatever she wanted occasionally.
She did even worse than his girlfriends, always bombarding his phone. He knew deep down she was only out to sabotage his marriage, but he found her attention satisfying. He loved the thrill of being chased and wanted.
“Welcome home.” Naomi hugged him. Her usual warmth was gone. She avoided eye contact.
“Thanks.” He observed but said nothing—maybe one of her crazy mood swings. Dinner was silent. He had a bowel movement and excused himself. When he got back, he saw Naomi’s fingers retreating from his food.
What is she up to? he wondered. Naomi can’t harm me; she loves me too much. He sat down and continued eating. She stood up immediately and went to the kitchen, leaving his plate to be cleared by him—very unusual.
The next day, she served him breakfast and left before him.
“I have some goods to clear,” she said.
“Okay,” he said and left for the office. He kept feeling hot even though the AC was on as he drove. The unease increased. He called Diane, his most recent girlfriend, to the office, but she said she was unavailable. She only came when she wanted to. He couldn’t understand her mission. He even had to run a test to be sure she didn’t come back to infect him with HIV out of spite. The test results showed he was clean. He didn’t mind being her toy; it helped his ego.
He couldn’t concentrate in the office as he kept feeling something was wrong. He opened his device to check the CCTV cameras at home. Lo and behold, he saw Naomi in between two men on their matrimonial bed.
He felt a knife pierce his heart and slice it piece by piece. His wife was cheating on him—on their matrimonial bed?
He bashed a car on his way home and fled the scene. He wanted to see the faces of those men with his own eyes.
He stomped upstairs and smashed the bedroom door open. The three of them were startled. Naomi jumped up in a lace gown; her thighs and cleavage were on display.
“Frank? What are you—” He slapped her, and she fell to the floor.
The two men jumped off the bed. One locked his arms while the other punched him—thrice. It happened so fast.
Naomi quickly stood up and blocked him, almost taking the blow. “Stop! You are taking it too far!” she defended. Her left eye was red, a top beneficiary of the slap, and blood was underneath the skin on her cheek. She had internal bleeding.
The man pushed Naomi aside when he saw her face and brushed Frank’s legs. He fell to the floor. Both men started stomping on him.
“Please, stop!” She jumped on Frank and hugged him. Frank dodged blows from his face; however, they landed on his temple and ears, which now bled. His blood rubbed on her face.
“It’s a prank. You aren’t supposed to hit him,” she yelled.
“You are the one who has been pranked, Naomi. We’ve been wanting to beat up this fool,” one of the men responded. The other helped her up.
Frank sat up. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”
“I pranked you, Frank, to teach you a lesson. These are my cousins, and it was staged,” Naomi responded. It was then he noticed they were only shirtless and stayed under the duvet—they really weren’t doing anything. She continued, “I saw you having sex in your office when I brought you lunch.”
He cupped his face in his palms.
“I was hurt and didn’t know how to handle it. As usual, I had the impulse to leave, but I thought of Junior. I had the impulse to poison you for the wretched pain you keep causing me, but how can I live with the guilt? I thought of bearing it—but for how long? Till I die? Or till I can’t tolerate it anymore? Then I thought of cheating on you. But would that not destroy me? It would break my integrity, my values, my dignity, and my honor. Above all, it would break my home.
“However, this is your last warning. I can’t play Mrs. Moral forever. From now on, I will do to you what you do to me, and we will both apologize to each other. If you make my life a living hell, I’d make yours the lake of fire, and we’d both make love to each other and go to bed. And no one outside would hear of what’s happening inside this house. Do you understand? If this marriage ends up not working, I will make sure it’s you walking away from me because you can’t tolerate me anymore—not the other way around.”
She turned to her cousins. “Thank you so much. You can leave now. I’ll take it from here.”
“No. He slapped you. We’ll be downstairs till evening, just in case things go south.” With that, they left the bedroom.
Naomi walked up to him, and he stood up. She grabbed him and kissed him deeply, throat-deep, then pulled back.
He put his finger on her chin. They were both filled with sorrow, silently questioning each other. Where do we go from here? Is this the end of the road? Have we hit the immovable rock? His pain was more afflicted by the bruise on her face than his own wounds.
“Naomi, I’m sorry. I’m so stupid. Gosh, I’m such a monster. I know you hate me right now,” he said, cupping her face.
She removed his hand from her face and cupped his.
“I love the monster that you are.
I love you with all your scars.
My mercy and grace are forever your clothing.
I do not care about your mistakes;
I only want you to be okay.
Whatever ugly things I witness, I simply do not care.
All there is is but one thing:
I only want to see you smile.
Hurt me with the truth,
Provided your arms are there to save me from the ground.
Like a Trojan horse, I would unwaveringly stand by your side.
No matter what you do or how far you go,
I would never leave nor forsake you—
Because I love you.”
For the second time, she saw him cry (the first was on their wedding day). He broke down and sobbed like a die-hard criminal who had just received a death sentence. She caught him, but he was too huge for her to restrain. They had a soft landing on the floor. She squatted while he sat, and she rocked him in her arms as his head rested on her bosom.
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