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It’s Not the Fear of Loving
It’s not the fear of loving that keeps them stuck;
it’s the fear of not being loved back.
It’s not the fear of dusk;
it’s the fear of what lurks in it.
It’s not the fear of heights that keeps them from climbing;
it’s the fear of falling.
However it manifests, fear keeps one stagnant: in the same position for too long. Many people don’t take necessary steps because they’re scared of the outcome.
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Fear: The Silent Prison Keeper
Fear is one of the most powerful emotions known to man. It’s that invisible chain that binds us, the quiet whisper that says “what if?” before we even dare to dream. It lurks in the corners of our minds; subtle, persuasive, and sometimes paralyzing.
At its core, fear is a natural response designed to protect us from danger. It sharpens our senses and prepares our bodies to fight or flee. Yet when left unchecked, fear stops being a guardian and becomes a jailer. It cages our potential, muffles our voices, and blinds us to possibility.
Many people never chase their dreams, not because they lack ability, but because they fear failure, rejection, or judgment. Fear convinces us that staying safe is better than taking risks. But we often forget that courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the decision to move forward despite it.
When we confront fear, we take back our power. We learn that beyond trembling and uncertainty lies growth, freedom, and purpose. The moment we stop running from fear and start walking through it, it loses its grip.
So, dare to stand in the face of what frightens you, because on the other side of fear often lies the life you’ve always wanted.
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The Bright Side of Fear
Fear can be used to exact dominance and control. Knowing how to command fear leads to order. Fear also helps us measure our strengths and weaknesses, and when we overcome it, we become more appreciative of ourselves.
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Fear of Failure
What if it fails? What if I can’t? What if things don’t work out positively? What if we lose?
These questions keep many from making any move. Dreams, goals, desires, and longings are swept under the rug. But you are a light, and lights are not meant to be hidden under carpets. When you ignore your dreams, you dim your light.
Failure is the road to success; experience is your certification. With failure, experience, and a resilient spirit to keep trying until you get it right — you achieve success. Yes, you’ll fail, but that’s fine. You’ll make mistakes, that too is okay. When you try a second time, a third time, you’ll get it right.
Mastery lies in repetition.
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Fear of Rejection
Proposals grow stale and affection withers without nurturing. Many mask their emotions behind stoicism and act defensive during emotional conversations.
Love is brave. Leadership is bravery. Stop thinking, “What if I get rejected?” Instead, think, “How would I know if I don’t even try?” Even if you try your best and your fears surface, it’s still an honorable defeat: at least you tried. Learn to embrace life’s lessons with a sheepish smile.
But what if it all works out? You have her. You have him. Imagine never trying.
What if you start that company and, after several rejections, you finally get it right? It would all be worth it, wouldn’t it?
Have a mindset of acceptance, and even when you get rejected, laugh it off. Learn to give your 101%. With resilience and perseverance, you can achieve anything.
The people you’re scared of reaching out to are probably waiting tirelessly. Be bold, and always have a mindset to make things right.
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Fear of Commitment
People often say, “Love doesn’t cost a dime.” But it doesn’t just cost a dime — it costs everything precious. It costs sacrifice, pain, uncertainty, and bravery in the face of discouragement. It’s faith over fear. The price of love is vulnerability. The room that houses it is perseverance. Challenges will come, but accepting people just as they are makes communion possible.
“Nothing lasts forever,” many say. So, they never even bother to experience it. But it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
It’s a beautiful thing to find something endearing: something you hold above all else, something you esteem higher in value than everything around you. You commit your heart, focus, and trust to it. It doesn’t have to be all figured out at the beginning, just trust the process.
Don’t allow fear to hinder you from committing to your purpose, dreams, or passion. Stand tall for your beliefs, even when you’re scared. It’s when you confront fear that it begins to fade.
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Fear of Proximity
The fear of proximity refers to an intense discomfort or anxiety that arises when others get emotionally or physically close. It often stems from past experiences of betrayal, rejection, or trauma, leading the individual to associate closeness with potential pain or loss.
People who struggle with this fear may crave connection yet instinctively push others away when intimacy develops. It becomes a protective mechanism: a way to maintain safety by keeping distance. However, over time, this avoidance can create loneliness and hinder meaningful relationships.
Healing from the fear of proximity involves recognizing its roots, building trust gradually, and allowing vulnerability in safe spaces. With patience and self-awareness, closeness can begin to feel less threatening and more like the comfort it’s meant to be.
Many have erected invisible walls around themselves: rarely trusting, seldom entertaining company, and often avoiding close interaction. That’s understandable, but it shouldn’t remain that way forever. When God made man, He saw that it wasn’t good for him to be alone, and so He made the woman.
It’s okay to be wounded and forgiving. Have you noticed that after every fight, people often grow closer when they make up? It takes time for understanding to brew and for behaviors to synchronize.
Do not allow the monsters of the past to hinder the present angels of good tidings.
It’s okay to love again.
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